I haven’t written for a long time. This is mainly due to insane busyness, as well as a lack of anything interesting happening and the general feeling that I can’t be bothered.
But I am alive and to prove it I’m here!
Some while back you may remember me writing about my duck egg. Well, about two weeks ago it finally hatched, although there is a strong cased debate as to whether or not it is in fact a duck. (see above photo).
I have called him Simon. Simon is in fact a miniature seagull, whose life was doomed from the start. Not only is he an exceptionally ugly duckling, who will eventually grow into an exceptionally irritating sea-bird, but he was also born with some development problems:
Simon has a broken neck (which luckily hinders his ability to squawk), a large cyst on his back, and fused feet. He is also completely blind in his left eye and unfortunately made of a rather tacky to touch sponge substance.
The former of the problems that poor Simon has are most likely due to maltreatment in his egg stage. Being raised in a pint glass is apparently not the ideal situation and frequent shaking is frowned upon in egg hatching circles.
However I am informed that the latter issues are due to manufacturing problems in his “mothers’ womb” and have been reassured that this product malfunction will be fully investigated by “the vets”.
It has also been suggested, should I ever was to buy one of these products for a child, that I hatched the egg first myself to ensure the creature wasn’t quite so deformed and therefore avoid the issues of telling the child in question about the harshness of reality.
Luckily for Simon he has been born into a home that will strive to reconcile his problems of over-attention as an egg. He will now sit on a shelf and only be introduced to company at large family events where a form of light entertainment is required.
*NOTE TO READERS WHO DO NOT KNOW THE TWISTED MIND OF TRELEY*
This is called satire – look it up in a dictionary.
In other news I found out today that I am in fact a duck…
But I am alive and to prove it I’m here!
Some while back you may remember me writing about my duck egg. Well, about two weeks ago it finally hatched, although there is a strong cased debate as to whether or not it is in fact a duck. (see above photo).
I have called him Simon. Simon is in fact a miniature seagull, whose life was doomed from the start. Not only is he an exceptionally ugly duckling, who will eventually grow into an exceptionally irritating sea-bird, but he was also born with some development problems:
Simon has a broken neck (which luckily hinders his ability to squawk), a large cyst on his back, and fused feet. He is also completely blind in his left eye and unfortunately made of a rather tacky to touch sponge substance.
The former of the problems that poor Simon has are most likely due to maltreatment in his egg stage. Being raised in a pint glass is apparently not the ideal situation and frequent shaking is frowned upon in egg hatching circles.
However I am informed that the latter issues are due to manufacturing problems in his “mothers’ womb” and have been reassured that this product malfunction will be fully investigated by “the vets”.
It has also been suggested, should I ever was to buy one of these products for a child, that I hatched the egg first myself to ensure the creature wasn’t quite so deformed and therefore avoid the issues of telling the child in question about the harshness of reality.
Luckily for Simon he has been born into a home that will strive to reconcile his problems of over-attention as an egg. He will now sit on a shelf and only be introduced to company at large family events where a form of light entertainment is required.
*NOTE TO READERS WHO DO NOT KNOW THE TWISTED MIND OF TRELEY*
This is called satire – look it up in a dictionary.
In other news I found out today that I am in fact a duck…
You Are A: Duck!
Found in many lakes and ponds, ducks are a common site the world over. Known for their famous quack, ducks tend to congregate in flocks or go off on their own in pairs. As a duck, you may seem friendly at times but will not hesitate to bite if someone is bothering you. Your ability to swim is part of what makes you a duck.You were almost a: Puppy or a Duckling
You are least like a: Turtle or a GroundhogCute Animals Quiz
(Actually – it first told me that I was a pony, but ALMOST a duck, so I changed some of the answers to my questions! Of course, now that I am almost a duckling, I am tempted to go back and try again!)
Finally – a short gripe about my business for the last two weeks.
At the age of Twenty-three
Promotion there for me
Middle-management they say
Will be where I will stay
I’m in charge of other people
Over twice my age
But now ordered around the houses
Like a butler or a page
I’m wanted in a thousand places
Because there are more jobs for me to do
I‘m haunted on the weekend
By work, and home life too
The day’s where out the window
Work-life balance flies
The nights that I’m not home till late
Because of commitment ties
I’m bitter about the time I spend
Trying to get things right
Yet never reaching perfection
Although it’s “close”, but out of sight.
I’m irritated by the little things
That I haven’t found time to do
Like watch a bit of telly
Relax, and write to you.
Oh sure, I still “play” on the computer
After two or three extra hours of work
And where does it get me?
I see no rewards or perks
A 9-5 office job?
Not the life for me
Just a little more “Tre” time
That’s my current fantasy.
And here I am, still loving my job
Somewhere in my heart
It’s just at the moment I can’t seem to find it
And I’m not sure quite where to start.
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